Last time, I wrote about my road trip from Northern California to Phoenix. I got to see a lot of beautiful scenery and interesting things all along the way. Amongst the cactus and creosote bush’s that dotted the roadside, something was missing. It took me a while to put my finger on it, but then I figured it out. Deer.
I don’t mean Bambi and his family frolicking in the distance, but rather Bambi and his deer friends scattered along the medians and shoulders of the highway in various states of decay.
I’m not celebrating the death of our furry woodland friends, just making an observation that the deer carcasses that litter the roadways here in the Midwest were lacking in the desert.
Anyone who’s does much driving on the rural highways has certainly seen what remains of the battles between car and deer. While the cars do end up with sizeable scars, they tend to survive. The deer rarely do. Such was the case at 2:30am a few weeks ago when a large doe challenged my Grand Am to a death match. The result? Grand Am 1, deer 0.
I was the last of my immediate family to have end up hitting a deer. In 20 years of driving I’ve hit or been hit by 3 different cars, several cats, opossums, raccoons, groundhogs, squirrels, birds, bunnies and about 20,000,000 bugs. Despite numerous attempts to attack my car, I’ve successfully avoided even the slightest scuffle with a buck or doe, until now.
Previous attempts by the tasty animals to get in my way were foiled by their glowing eyes or the fact that they were standing right by the edge of the road. This made them easy to spot and easy to avoid.
Once last winter as I drove down 49 just north of Paulding, OH, I looked out the window and there was a deer running right beside me on the passenger side– weird. But the kamikaze attack I was the target of came without warning and without options. One second I’m driving down the road at a speed acceptable to local law enforcement, the next Debbie the Daredevil Deer is bouncing off my hood and doing summersaults through they sky.
For technique, I gave her a 9 because she was really sneaky. For style an 8 for the incredible amount of time she was in the air. I couldn’t, however grade her dismount because she disappeared. Once I’d stopped the car and walked back to the scene of the attack, she was gone. I’m assuming she may have made it a few yards and then did what most of us would do if we just got hit by a car going 60(ish). I’ll never know for sure.
Please don’t think I think it’s funny that the deer got hit and hurt and most likely died. I think it’s a shame that it happened.
A shame not nearly as big as the animals death but no less important to the story is what happened to me afterwards.
I first inspected the damage to the car, checked for leaking fluids and cut tires. Once I determined that it was drivable, I called the insurance company and got the “get my car fixed” ball rolling. Once that was done I headed with crumpled hood, shattered grill and missing headlight towards Kentucky.
The next day I took the car to the shop and went to get my rental. That’s when things went south.
I waited my turn at the counter and told them who I was and they told me they’d have my car right out and added that I was lucky because it was their last one. A few moments later out they came with my car and I wanted to cry. Sitting out front waiting for me was a Dodge PT Cruiser. Let me say quickly that if you own a PT Cruiser I have nothing against you or even your choice of cars– to each his own. I however, have despised that car since it was launched. I can’t tell you why I hate it, only that I do.
So now while I wait for my car to be repaired I do so behind the wheel of an underpowered over-hyped Mexico built “American” car.
Maybe if a deer hits it I can get a better one.
